For S.

We were twins. You grew up for ten years while I was growing back, never coming of age. Actually, I like your growing up and my…..

Whenever I call on you

you shake your head

draining millions of brain cells

to make sure—or persuade—

that this is the last New Year of my wild life

that it’s high time

to grow up to be

woman

mother—

that next year we’ll be of the same age

to recall the nine months

when we lived

concurrently

in our mothers’ wombs. 

Sometimes you try to follow my tracks

but you have to admit you don’t get up enough nerve

and your ears turn deaf from the sound of breaking

(hence your recent dizziness)

You must admit I have a special gift

in finding outstanding friends

and losing them overnight—

you are well aware

why I write to you now

for you’ve heard a couple of minutes ago

the sound of my breaking in your dream.

November 9, 2011

Los Angeles

Translated by Samvel Mkrtchyan